Aphrodisiacs are for lovers

Loosely defined, aphrodisiacs are “love pick-me-ups.” They can be foods, herbs, music, memories, drinks and concoctions, visual cues (such as partial darkness, nudity or partial nudity), alluring looks, dancing or anything that makes us yearn for and give into deeper intimacy. While intimacy is desired by almost all of us, many of these “pick-me-ups” are considered taboo. Why is longing for love and, expressing the sexuality of love, so despised by our culture?

I believe love, especially sexual loving, is burdened with guilt and fear because we start out such poor lovers in a society that praises love in our great myths, scriptures, fairy tales, movies and literature. These fears and guilts of being sexual inhibit our learning curve. Additionally, the stories don't tell us that loving requires effort, deep communication, trust, and vulnerability mixed with a great deal of persistence.

Let's face it, being a great lover is something we may individually aspire to, yet there is very little social support for learning or achieving it. Add to that all kinds of fears if "caught" "doing it," and you can find yourself with a lack of sufficient learning opportunities.

Aphrodisiacs are tonics for getting past the inhibitions of loving without shame. We swallow aphrodisiacs to relax our nervousness about the learning process of being a better lover. Aphrodisiacs can warm and massage our bodies into the prospect of being loved. And in a way, aphrodisiacs are way for us to inject into our social contacts, a “general aphrodisiac” as a cure for our love-starved society.

Let’s drop the guilt and fears, play with aphrodisiacs and learn to be great lovers. Spread the love.