Aphrodisiacs of Talk

Aphrodisiacs of Talk

Sometimes, and possibly more often than we would like to admit, the biggest hindrance to being fully sexual is in our heads. A pill can sometimes override that hindrance and help us perform in bed like there was nothing in the way. If that is the case, is the sex pill then purely a placebo effect? If I thought that is all it is, I would call this blog “What Placebos for Sex Work.” Instead I named it "What Aphrodisiacs Work" which is not to say that what is in our heads is not sometimes inhibiting and sometimes enhancing our full sexual expression.

What goes on in our heads is communicated in many ways, leading up to and during sex. Communication is a vital part of what works for sex and what doesn’t. I mean, how many times just in your history, let alone the history of sex, has miscommunication screwed up an intimate moment or rendezvous? Or how often have good communications had a hand in getting laid? Good communications are so vital to a good sex life that even the sellers of sex pills use the tools of language to get us in the mood for over-the-top sex.

Most everybody interested in sex wants to learn what to say and what to wrap their heads around to improve their sex lives. For untold eons, sex started with communicating desire, rather than taking a sex pill. For example, my wife and I have discovered certain things that the other says can turn us on, raise the heat or get us interested in some time alone in bed. What works for us won't necessarily work for you, but there are a few basic rules of thumb.

Ever since John Gray wrote "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus," we all know that men and women come to sexuality with different needs and hopes. When we can speak to the needs and wishes of our partner, they can more easily get turned on. For instance, a man, generally speaking, wants to hear that he is manly, that he turns her on, that his penis is big and satisfies her. Prostitutes will use words of this sort to turn a man on quickly. Smart women do the same and turn her man into a love machine.

On the other hand, a woman wants to hear (sincerely, not as a line) that she is attractive and sexy; she wants to feel that she is safe and can relax; she wants to sense that he cares for her. Recent lab tests show that for a woman to climax, the most important thing that has to happen in her brain is to relax. (Reported in Men’s Health, 10 Lessons about Her Orgasm) To be clear, women do want sex as much as men, but they want different things from it than men and need to "hear" a different message than men.

I think men would pay as much as $100 a pop for the pill that makes them say the right things that will turn a woman on. For us, it is a struggle to think of romantic and connective conversation. But the solution doesn't cost $100 a pill. All he has to do is ask her, or other women, what turns them on. Then he has to remember and time it to his best advantage. It is a clear step by step solution. I just read a piece in Men's Health, "Seduce her in 10 minutes" http://www.menshealth.com/mhlists/sexual_attraction_and_seduction/index.php, which is faster than any so called sex pill can claim. These 7 clear points are all ways that communicate desireability, as seen by a woman.

Sex pills and sex talk go hand in hand for increased sexual desire. Both are aphrodisiacs. Sex talk for many of us is not easy because it is more process oriented than goal oriented. But even with taking a goal oriented sex pill that increases your desire, do the process too, if it helps your partner. Give them the gift of sex talk, for best results, administer this aphrodisiac more than 30 minutes beforehand. Given daily, it's like a sex supplement that pays off in the short and long term.